Sunday, April 5, 2020

Lockdown Musings : A close look at LIFE

I hope she won't mind me sharing this story but tonight I had a little argument with my sister. It was over something petty but of course, being the drama queen that I was, I just had to blow things out of proportion and since she's exhausted from her busy day, she didn't hesitate to put me in my place and to give me a piece of her mind. That's also one thing that I love about my relationship with my sister. We both can say our piece as it is, no holds barred and after all that I know that we will be okay and she loves me just the same. I know you're reading this Pan, and I just want you to know that I'm really sorry.

covid19
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
She also said something which got me thinking all night. She told me to learn to appreciate the people around me before it's too late. Given the current situation where people within our circle are falling sick and dying, it's really the reality that life is truly unpredictable and anyone of us can just end our lives here on earth with just a snap of a finger (parang si Thanos lang). Remember the saying "take each moment at if it's your last?" This rings so true in today's scenario.

It's been 3 weeks since the government has announced the start of the Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) and staying home has allowed us to spend more time with the family. I think I haven't spent more than 48 hours straight with my parents since I got married and that was 10 years ago. Often times, it's either Paul and I have some event to attend or my Mom has to see a client or Papa has his movie day. Even during weekends, we would normally be out with my in laws or meeting up with friends.

I guess out of everyone in the house, my kids are the happiest right now because they are enjoying everyone's undivided attention for 3 full weeks. Even as we're all working from home, they know that we're just another room away and they get to spend more time playing and singing with all of us. I guess, that's the only upside of staying home, you get to reassess your relationship with the people who matters most to you and that is your family.

sorry
Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash
This period has also given me a different perspective about life. I'm not perfect and somewhere along the way I know that I may have hurt people close to me. Some with my own doings, some I may have hurt unknowingly. I guess we're all human but I realized that oftentimes, we let our ego and pride take center stage. We often reason that we were hurt first thus we deserve an apology but what if we just take the first step in forgiving and apologize for your own actions too. People come into our lives for a reason and I just feel that moving forward, we should make more effort to keep them there. I don't say this often but... to all those whom I have hurt, I'm sorry.

Maybe my sister is right. I always focus on what I have been doing for others that I tend to expect that they must do the same for me. Maybe I was being selfish there. No one asked me to go the extra mile anyway but I personally wanted to do so I shouldn't expect for this to be equally reciprocated. People reach out and show their love in various ways and in varying degrees. Maybe she's right in saying that I have to learn to say Thank You and appreciate the people around me more.

thank you
Photo by Hanny Naibaho on Unsplash
Before the lockdown, life has always been on the fast lane. I always find myself juggling more pins than I can really handle and with my pride up there, I continue to hold on and keep them up as long as I can. Thus, I forget to see the people who are closely by my side helping me keep those pins up in the air. How about you? Who are those people who have been keeping your pins up in the air? Don't forget to thank them too.

As Dan Hill once sang, "why do we always hurt the ones we love" I guess it's because with the people we love, we are more emotionally invested. We pour our hearts out to them, we let our guards down so oftentimes, we are more critical of their every move too. How often have we really been honest with our feelings and said I love you? I got to admit that I am not a perfect wife. The many times that Paul would get so mad at me for not listening and I have the tendency to brush his advice aside thinking that mine's always better (yabang lang noh?). Again, it's my pride getting in the way.

frannywanny wedding
I realized that the secret to a happy marriage is not love. Sure, love has to be there but the most important thing is respect. Listening to him, allowing him to give you his advice after all, you mean the world to him and of all people in this world, he will always have your best interest as his top priority. Spending quality time is something that's so easily said but with everything that's happening on our daily lives, it's one that's so hard to achieve.

franny mommy
How timely that I saw this photo which was taken during the Mommy Mundo gathering months ago?
I truly hope that we can all fight COVID19 together. I pray for the day when we can watch the numbers go down until we're all cleared of the virus. I wish that as we later on go back to our normal lives, we will not forget to remember this period in time when we allowed ourselves to give more importance and time to what truly matters.

This is why I've decided to write this entry. To serve as my own reminder that as I go through life after #COVID19, I will always remember to say Sorry, Thank you and most of all, I Love You. ♥
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